still sick

I posted earlier that yesterday big sis was sick yesterday (I had that post scheduled yesterday). She woke up today still sick.  Her fever hasn't changed much, 100.5.  I gave her some tylenol and haven't seen a change yet.  She's been coloring all day.  So at least she's not lethargic.  But she's definitely not herself.

An example of how God's plan and timing is PERFECT!
Baby sis was scheduled for surgery this morning.  On Monday, we had to resechedule it for April b/c she still has those pesky allergies.  I was pretty bummed b/c I am so ready to have that thing removed from her face.  But there's nothing I can do.  This morning when big sis woke up still feverish, I realized, if baby had her surgery today, I would've left big sis with her grandmother.  I would have hated to leave my sick baby.  I would've been a mess.  So I'm super thankful at how everything worked out.  :)

Sick Wednesday

Yesterday I woke up after daddy left for work to find big sis sprawled out on the couch, covered with a blanket.  I felt her head and she was warm.  She kept saying she wasn't feeling good.  I kept an eye on her all morning, she was super lethargic and warm, her temp was normal, but I knew a fever was coming.  Plus, my child NEVER sits still, and she just laid there.  It was very sad.
Around lunchtime she had a low grade fever, it just kept going up, by dinner time she was at 101.

After lunch, baby sister went to take her nap like usual.  I kept telling big sis to lay down and take a nap, but she refused.  I even put her on my bed, but she came out after a few minutes.  I knew she needed to sleep, but she kept fighting it.  So I brought her to the couch w/ me and we cuddled.  She crashed after about 5 minutes.  So we just laid there for over an hour.  I hated that she wasn't feeling good, but it was so nice to just lay still and cuddle my sweet baby girl.

 After nap, we had to leave the house.  I didn't want to b/c big sis still wasn't feeling good, but we had a showing.  I didn't want to cancel it b/c the house was all ready for it.  So I figured we'd just get in the car and drive.  They were only scheduled for a 15 min showing.  Well, not only did they show up 20 minutes early, they stayed for 40 minutes.  So I took the girls to the $1 store for a treat.  They each got a coloring book and some crayons.  Their favorite activity is coloring, and we can never have too many crayons. lol  By then big sis was more like herself.

By bedtime big sis' temp was 101.  We gave her some meds and put them in bed.  She barely ate all day.  Hoping baby sis doesn't get whatever this was... 

Another one...

We have another showing today.  That's 2 in less than a week.  Which is great.  I'm just over all the cleaning and having to leave my house. lol But trying hard not to complain b/c I know God is at work.  

We've had an offer on our house since about October.  Thankfully they are still very much interested in the house.  Next week, we reapply with the bank and go from there.

I don't know how I feel.  I very much want God's will to be done, first and foremost.  I want to accept God's will, no matter what.  I know what I want, God knows what I want.  But more importantly, God knows what's best for me.  It may not match what I want.  And that partially scares me for many reasons.  I want to move, and if we don't get to, I will be sad.  I'm scared of how I'll react.  

I want to honor God in every way through this.  I'm excited to see what He has for us and looking forward to this whole process being over!! 

sleepy time

On Saturday we spent the morning at the park for one of big sis' friends birthday party.  The girls ran around and played hard!  We came home, baby sister took her nap and we cleaned the house for a showing.  We left the house and went to Target b/c we needed a few groceries and a new iron (I love my new iron!).   As soon as we get there, we put the girls in the cart, big sis sprawled out in the basket and PASSED out!  She never does this.  Daddy ended up getting another cart for groceries.
After we were done, we tried waking her up.  She was like a bobble head, daddy took a video.  It's pretty hilarious.

sleeping beauty...

weigh in Mondays

For the past 3 Mondays I've been weighing myself and measuring my waist and hips.  I started the 30 day shred 3 mondays ago.  Today is day 14.
I am so excited that I finally lost some pounds!  I am now down 3 pounds and finally seeing some progress.  I've also lost 3 inches in my waist.  My hips remain the same.  Once the 30 day shred is over, I might start a work out to target mainly my hips, thighs and buns. My pants don't fit b/c I have too much junk in my trunk. lol  I guess it's the latina in me.. I have NEVER had this problem.  I guess baby #2 will do that.  I have several friends who are super jealous of it.  I just want to like how I look again and be able to fit into my pants. I basically live in jeans and am SO thankful that they fit me.  I am also thankful for long shirts b/c I like to cover up my problem area..

Anyways, today I celebrate my loss!!  I am working on my stationary bike as I type.  I'm trying to bump my daily work outs from 30 min to 1 hour a day.  Just hard to do w/ 2 little ones.

I was working out the other day w/ Jillian and my girls joined me.  I was laughing so hard.  They both copy everything I do... lol

Count your blessings...

As we await on news of our house sale (still waiting on the bank to decide) I have good days and bad.  I spoke to hubby and told him that I desperately want to accept God's will, no matter what, I want to honor Him w/ my thoughts and words.  I fear that if things don't go "my way" I will go into anger and be upset and I SO don't want that.  I get upset even thinking about it not working out.  I am in turmoil b/c I want to accept God's will, I KNOW it's best.  But then I think "what about what I want"..
Sigh... I always know that God has the best for me, even if I can't see it at the moment.  I can't see why He'd want us stuck in this small, 1 bath home.. But I don't have to see it.  he knows best.
Like I said, I am in turmoil!!!!!!!

SO with all that said, I am focusing on being thankful for my MANY undeserved blessings.  God has been SO amazingly good to us.  Even in the middle of past trials, after coming out of them it was clear why we had to go through it.  Those help me remember that God is sovereign and that if things don't work out "My way" that it's a good thing.  Again, I go back and forth b/c I SO want to move!!!  I hate this turmoil. lol

Anyways, my biggest blessings of all, my girls!  I never take for granted of how God's blessed me w/ 2 healthy pregnancies, 2 healthy, beautiful girls.  All I have to do is look at their sweet smiles and every problem melts away.  So thankful That God has allowed me to be their mom.  Focusing on them helps me remember how amazingly awesome my God really is!!!

They are becoming inseparable! I love it! :)

 I love shopping days with my girlies.  

 Baby sis wants to do everything big sis does.  They both love to color. :) 

30 day shred

Today I completed day 12 of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred.   I know a lot of people don't like her, but I really do!
The video consists of 3 different levels of 20 minute work outs.  The first 10 days I did level 1.  It was hard at first, but then it was just something I got used to.  Yesterday was day 11, I decided to bump it up to level 2.  I didn't really feel ready for it but decided to give it a try.  I actually like level 2 a lot better.  The exercises  are a lot tougher, but they are easier to follow.  Let me tell you, I have never sweated this much.  Within 5 minutes of level 2 work out, I am drenched.

So far I haven't lost any weight.  That was getting discouraging.  But I have been measuring my waist and hips every Monday and I have gone down 2 1/2 inches in my waist.  I can kind of see the difference, but I def have a ways to go before I look like I want to look.  But losing those inches have been encouraging :)

I've also been monitoring my calorie intake using MyfitnessPal app on my phone.  This week I started drinking slim fast for lunch to help me with the weight loss.  I don't plan on drinking it every day, maybe 3-4 times a week.

I usually have a work out buddy with me :)

Crazy 8's

Somehow we came into possession of this Crazy 8's game, I think it was part of her Christmas Stocking from the grandparents... Anyways, I had forgotten we had it until daddy brought it out tonight.  So we all got together and played for a little bit before bedtime.  Baby sister pretty much climbed all over me while we played :)  It was fun to teach big sis how to play it, she picked it up quick.  And this was also my first time ever playing it.  Maybe I'll pick up a pack of Uno cards and we can teach her that next. :)

Trying to find peace...

Hubby and I had a nice long talk over the weekend.  Anytime the topic of our house sale comes up, I get really angry.  I just want to move!  I don't think it's too much to ask for, we NEED more space.  We are a growing family in 1100 sqft and 1 bathroom.  Can it "work"?  Sure, I guess.  But I don't want it to "work", I want more space.

Honestly, I have no idea where we are in the process.  We will know more in the coming weeks (around mid/end March).  I am not holding onto any hopes that we'll sell.  The bank is like a yoyo and I just can't handle any more of this madness.  Hubby and I talked about it all.  I realized that I need to be content with where God has us.  And if HIS answer is for us to stay  here longer and not move, I need to find a way to accept it.  I WANT to find a way to accept it.  But anytime I think about it, I just get way too emotional.  Part of me feels like I could accept it.  I told hubby that if we're going to make this house work for us, then I need to practically redo every room in the house, including purchasing new furniture.  So we'll see.

I am praying that I can accept God's will no matter what.  We need and want to move.  But maybe that's not what God has for us now.  Which I need to be fine with.  But honestly, part of me doesn't want to be fine w/ it.  How come everyone else gets to move?  Everyone gets to sell their house and get their dream house.  Why not me?  Am I jealous, YES!.  Am I in sin?  YES.  I am praying through it.

I am trying to find peace through it all.  Trying to find peace and accept whatever God's will is.  Of course, it's always easier when it "matches" what I want.  But life doesn't work that way, at least not for me...  I will focus on being thankful for the blessings God has given me.  I will continue praying for His peace and help in accepting things...

Valentine's Day

Hubby and I celebrated our valentine's early, we went on a date on Sunday (I hate going out on actual valentine's day).  Yesterday was a normal day, then at night we had dinner at my inlaw's house b/c Great Grandma is in town.

Mini Valentine photoshoot!  I LOVE her! :)

 Love my baby Valentine! 

 My beautiful blessings in their Valentine dresses from mommy :)

 Big sister wore her hair like a heart :)

 Beyond thankful for my girlies!

The night before Valentine's, I decorated the dining room and put the girls gifts on the table.  They were so excited to celebrate. :)  

 Baby sis got a book of stickers, pet shop, m&m's and a necklace.  She lit up when she saw her jewelry :)

 Baby sister's necklace

Big sis also got a book of stickers, pet shop, m&m's, peacock necklace and hairclip :)

I LOVE spoiling my loves!  Daddy got a gift too, he got season 2 of his favorite childhood cartoon, candy and more stuff!  There's still something coming in the mail, so I can't post what it is ;)

My fun

I started sewing right before big sis was born.  I became a stay at home mom and wanted to teach myself how to make cute dresses.  I made my daughter a few things, but my first sewing machine was horrible.  After baby sister was born I picked up more sewing, making matching outfits was so fun!  Alas my sewing machine was crap and hubby gave me a new one last May.  I love it!  I think I've used it more in less than a year than I used my other one that I had for 4 years. lol  

I have an obsession with fabric and patterns and love making my girls stuff.  And the best part is that my girls LOVE them!  I made them a black/white chevron dress with some red and big sis never wanted to take it off.  It's so special to me how much she loves mommy's sewing.  Right now I'm on the hunt for peacock fabric and a new dress pattern to go with it.  Big sis is very excited for it :)

Have I mentioned how much I love sewing? :)  And I always sew on my dining room table.  Which means it becomes a mess for at least a week. lol  I can't wait to have my own craft room.  

Dates

On Saturday daddy was busy.  He has been talking about taking baby sis on a date for weeks.  He always goes out with big sis, but has never just had one on one time w/ baby.  So he took her out on their first date.  They went to the park, Target, then lunch.  During that time, I had my one on one time with big sis, we never get alone time b/c baby sis is always w/ us. :)  So we baked a cake.  she LOVES to bake!

 It's so amazing to see her all so grown up and get so excited for baking.  

After daddy came home, baby sis took a nap, then daddy took big sis to the library.  I was able to have some alone time, which was nice!  That evening we frosted the cake and both girls added sprinkles.  This was baby sister's first time "baking".  She got sprinkles everywhere! lol 

back to normal??!?!!

Last week I saw a neurologist and was given several "goodies" to keep my migraines away.  Today I am somewhat feeling normal.  The migraines haven't gone away, any little thing can immediately trigger it.  But I am better than I have been in weeks.

On another note, I've been on a diet for the past 2 weeks.  I started counting my calories using MyFitnessPal app on my phone.  I have been under calories daily and have even began exericising.  Losing weight and getting in shape is my new obsession.  I want to lose 10-15 lbs to get back to my pre pregnancy weight (from 5 years ago) lol.
These past 2 weeks I've lost no weight.  Well, I lost 2 lbs, but I bounce up and down a lot.  I hate how I look, even though everyone says I look great.  So I am determined to do everything I can to lose this weight.

Last night I bought the 30 day shred with Jillian Michaels.  Today was day 1.  The girls "worked out" with me. :)  It KICKED my butt, but it felt so good!  To know that I am doing something to try to keep the weight off and tone up.  Once I finish the 30 day shred, I am going to try Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 days.  I am excited with this plan and excited for the end results. :)

I realized today that in my obsession with "getting skinny" and doing all this, I've ignored the most important aspect of my daily life; spending time in the Word.  I have made time for chores, school, exercise, crafting, but I haven't made time to spend with God in a few weeks.  I was doing a reading program w/ a friend.  But when I went through my 3 week migraine, it was a struggle to get through the days, so I didn't read.  But today is day 1, back on our schedule, back to normal.  Or better than normal, I hope. :)  

So my goal is to revamp our daily schedule, make time for God's word first, then exercise and school my oldest, then the rest. :)  I'm super excited to be feeding my soul and getting into shape.  I hope I can maintain this excitement and keep up with everything.  I get discouraged so easily.

Anyways, I am sitting here and I should be cleaning, we have a showing today.  I hate showing the house, we already have an offer, I don't see the point.  BUT you never know what God is doing, so we go on with showings...

And just so this post is not a bunch of ramblings, here's a picture of my cuties over the weekend :)

More waiting...

Footprints in the sand has always been one of my favorite poems.  I saw this on fb earlier this week and it is ME.  We are in the middle of a very annoying trial.  The sale of our home.  When we began we were told that it'd be a frustrating, emotional, LONG process.  I had hoped that God would spare us all of that.  I don't know why I felt I "deserved" the easy way out.  I guess it just always feels like when we try to do something, it is always a trial and it always takes "forever".  Mainly b/c I want things on my timetable, and not God's.  

I know that everything happens for a reason.  I know God's in control of the situation.  I know that God's timing is perfect.  I know all that.  And I wish all that could help me.  But somedays, my sin nature takes over, and all of that doesn't help.

I have ppl telling me that they went through the same ordeal w/ their house sale.  They try to be encouraging, but honestly I don't want to hear it.  I don't see how that helps me.  I don't want this to be a year long process.  It also doesn't help me when it seems like everyone on the planet gets everything they want and it never seems like I do... I wanted to be moved into my new house by March (that is SO not happening).  I wanted to throw my baby a HUGE 2nd birthday party in our new house (her bday is August so who knows if that will happen).  I wanted to buy our van in March (we are squeezed in a little kia b/c our family car isn't really working anymore).  The car buying has to come after the home selling... bleh

See all the above statements are "I".   When we start something, whether it's selling our home, or whatever, I always envision things going my way, on my terms, on my timetable.  Not ONCE has that EVER happened.  I never get my way.  And looking back through past trials, that is a good thing.  I thank God that I have a loving Father who doesn't give me my way.  

And now I am thinking about this house sale, we are in "limbo" as I like to call it.  It's just a waiting game, full of uncertainties.  It is frustrating and if I think about it for TOO long I get angry and bitter to the point that I want to drive my car through the bank and destroy everything in it (yes I know I'm dark, that's how frustrated I am).  

BUT I am trying to rest in God.  He has other plans for us and right now we can't see or know what they are.  They are better than what we had planned.  There's a reason we are not moving next month like I wanted.  There's a reason why we have to wait.  And as frustrating as it is to wait ( remember how much I loathe waiting) I have no choice.  And I am trying to do better.  I want to come out of this trial and have honored God through it all.  I fail at that, a LOT.  Too much.  So I have to pray that God bring me out of my funk and helps me to accept His will and Plan through all this.

So during this trial, I have been kicking and screaming a LOT (I tell hubby that it's my latin side coming out).  lol  BUT I am so thankful that I have a God to carry me through it all.

2 1/2 weeks

Over 2 1/2 weeks ago, on a Sunday, I developed a migraine.  I hadn't had a migraine in about a year, when baby sis was first born and I wasn't sleeping.  Before that I hand't had one since I was first pregnant with baby sister.  Before that I hadn't had one since being pregnant with big sister (a 3 year gap).  sigh... Before that, I had regular migraines since 2004-2008.  I envy the people that have migraines for a few hours.  Mine last days, weeks...  I stopped treatment right before getting pregnant in Feb 2008.  And after much debate and stubborness, and 2 weeks of suffering, I went to a new neurologist this week and we started a new treatment.  I guess I expected some miracle cure.  Alas, I'm still suffering.  It's so hard b/c a migraine drains all my energy, and one that lasts this long, means that I have no energy left.  I've got nothing.  I basically take care of the girls.  When I think the pain will get better, it only gets worse.  I'm so over it.  I am trying to live normally, but it's very hard.  Hoping that my meds will kick in soon and I can find some relief... Sunday will be 3 weeks of this nightmare....

waiting, waiting and more waiting...

Back in July/August, we started seriously discussing selling our home.  It was something we had brought up for months before, but it was never something we were serious about, till August.  We live in a 3 bedroom/1 bath 1930's home that is 1100 sqft.  The girls share a room b/c the 3rd bedroom is used as the office (hubby does a lot of work at home).   Living here is doable, but we have definitely outgrown our home.  For starters, we NEED at least 2 bathrooms.  We need bigger closets.  B/c the house is so old, the closets are super small!  Our girls share a room, their closet is a joke.  Think of the world's smallest closet, now shrink that to size, that's probably the size of their closet lol  Last summer I moved big sister's clothes to the office closet (which was my 2nd closet and I had to get rid of a TON of my clothes).  So we have no storage, 1 bathroom, we also need a homeschool room, a playroom, a studio for daddy and some kind of crafting space for mommy (I can totally share the studio with daddy if it's big enough).   So in September we started the process and mid September we listed our house.  It was a hard decision b/c we love our home!  BUT we plan on growing our family and this house is no longer suitable for us.

When we started the process we were told that it takes time.  Blah blah...  I lived in denial.  I just knew that God would give me what I wanted, to be in a new home by March.  That will NOT be happening. Well, I guess anything is possible with God, but from my human perspective, based on the facts, it won't be happening.  To be honest, I have no idea when it will happen.  We've had an offer on our house since Oct/Nov.  We actually have a potential second offer.  What's the hold up?  The cursed bank.

It's very hard not to get angry and frustrated.  I feel like we're in limbo, just waiting for the uncertain event of moving.  I know that if it's God's will it will happen.  I know that everything happens in God's timing.  It's just so hard to wait.  I don't handle waiting well and I am just ready to be done with this process and move on.  I keep thinking, "if I can just get to this month".. But then we get there and nothing has changed.  I don't want to get to August and we're still here, waiting.  And I know that if it's what God has for us then I just have to accept it.  It's just hard.  And I hate that I get angry over it b/c I know God's in control.  I can't help it.

I know this is all a trial and in the end all I want is for God to be honored through all this.  I wish I could handle it better.

A friend posted this verse earlier and it was so encouraging to me today.
"When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed;
When you are discouraged thinking, 'All is lost',
Count your many blessings, name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

Why art thou cast down, O my soul, and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God! I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance and my God. Ps. 42


We are definitely blessed.  And I am thankful for it! 

18 month photoshoot

I loved these pictures!  It is just so "her".  it's got "her" colors, pink and zebra.  Her favorites things are shoes, necklaces and baby dolls. :)  So blessed to have this little cutie in my life! 

DADDY

Today both girls had their well check appt with the new pediatrician (LOVE her).  It was heartbreaking for mommy when both girls needed their shots.  I held my 4 year old and she got 2 shots in each arm, at the same time!  There were 2 nurses.  They were awesome, but it was still so sad, big sis sobbed and sobbed in my arms.  Baby sis watched and got scared to see her sister crying.  Then I held back tears. :(  Then it was baby's turn for shots, but big sis was still crying so somehow I held both of them and baby got 2 shots.  She didn't cry, thankfully.  The sweet nurses talked to big sis and calmed her down with a lolly and stickers :)
Afterwards it was lunchtime.  Daddy's job is 10 min away from the doctor's and we're never around that area.  So I called him up and he met us at costco where we had some hot dogs for lunch.  The girls were ecstatic to see daddy.  We were walking around waiting for him, when they saw him, they both squealed and RAN into his arms.  Sweetest thing ever!

Looking through the past 18 months...

18 months ago today my 2nd born princess came into this world.  What an awesome day!  When we brought her home, she just fit.  It was like the 3 of us had been waiting forever for her.  She brought such joy to the family the second she was born.  I will never forget how excited big sister was the first time she saw baby sister.  She immediately asked to hold her.  I was so overwhelmed with love for both my girls.

The night before she was born I was a wreck!  I hated the idea of leaving of my firstborn during the hospital stay.  I didn't get excited about baby's arrival until the morning of her birth, after leaving big sister with a dear friend.  I have to say, I love being pregnant, so the end is always bittersweet.  But holding my newborn is always so much better than being pregnant. :) 

 Meeting my sweet blessing for the very first time.  7.15 lbs of pure sweetness! :) 

Oh how I miss this stage.  I just love this girl!

 The first time big sister met her little sister.  It was all a bit overwhelming, but so wonderful! I am so thankful for my girls!

 6 month old cutie pie!  Always with a smile. 

 Cutie pie on her 1st birthday!  She and big sister and I had a full day of adventures.  I can't believe she's now 18 months and only 6 months away from her 2nd birthday.

 Looking so grown up as a 1 year old!  So thankful for this blessing!

There are 18 month pictures coming tomorrow :)

At 18 months baby sister:

-Wears size 5 shoes
-Wears size 4 diapers
-Wears 18-24 clothes
-LOVES baby dolls
-LOVES dress up clothes/shoes
-LOVES jewelry
-Goes to bed around 8:30 and sleeps for 12+ hours
-Says mommom, Daddum, bye, what's this, that, down, done, eat.. I think there might be some that I'm missing but these are the ones we hear the most.  She communicates really well but is refusing to learn new words.
-Likes to bring mommy books so we can read
-Likes to chase the cat around the house
-Is the biggest giggle box :)
-Absolutely LOVES her mama ;) Though in the mornings when she wakes up, her first words are "daddum" Daddy just eats it up...

girly time

I love having 2 daughters!  I wanted a house full of little girls (4) someday.  We'll see what God has in store for us. lol 

Anyways,  this past week I've gotten to have some extra one on one time with my oldest and we got to have a mani/pedi.  I also got to style her hair today, she loves it when I style her hair.  I love it when she lets me. :)