My LOVES

It's amazing how over the years your heart and love grow for your man.  Hubby and I have been together for over 10 years, married for over 8.  Seems surreal.  Seems like just yesterday we were young and making all these plans for our future.  And now we're living it.  Life is nothing like I had imagined it would be, but I wouldn't change it for anything.  Watching my hubby grow up and become a father times 2 has been amazing.  He is the most amazing husband and father.  He is so kind and selfless and thoughtful.  He comes home from work and helps in the kitchen, he cleans up whatever needs to be cleaned, plays with the girls, bathes the girls and gets them ready for bed.  He's just overall amazing and I am so thankful this is the man God picked for me.  Watching him play tea party with the girls just makes me fall in love with him more and more... I look forward to seeing him holding his son!

Becoming a mother was a lifetime's dream.  The years prior to us getting pregnant were so difficult.  It seemed like everyone was getting pregnant.  Everyone but me.  We weren't trying, our postponing having babies was due to job circumstances and such.  So when we were finally in a position to start trying, I prayed so hard that it wouldn't take us long.  We got pregnant right away and I was on cloud 9!  I knew from day 1 that the baby in me was a sweet girl.  Imagine our excitement when we found out for sure that we'd be having a princess!  After 9 amazing months we finally met our daughter and I was instantly in love.  After waiting so long to become a mom, I was finally a mom to the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on.  She is so amazing.  Watching her grow has been a blessing and I'm so thankful to be her mother.  I love how excited she gets over everything.  She is energetic, creative, sweet, loving, kind and an amazing big sister. She absolutely loves to learn, she loves to color and draw and create her own books. She loves people and is the most outgoing little girl I have ever seen.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for her! When we started talking about having another baby, I couldn't imagine loving another child like I loved my firstborn.  She was (is) my everything, she has my heart!  

Like I said, when we started talking about having more children, I couldn't imagine loving another child  like I loved big sister.  Even during her pregnancy, I had a hard time imagining how I could love her the same.  And then I met her, the cutest, sweetest, black haired little beauty.  She stole my heart in a way I never thought was possible.  It doesn't matter what kind of day I'm having, her sweet smiles always brighten my day.  She has such a sweet disposition, she's quiet and loving and cuddly.  So thankful to be her mommy!  So thankful God blessed me with this sweet girly girl!!!  She completed our family in a way that I didn't even think was needed...

... and then came our sweet surprise.  A sweet baby boy will soon join our family.  I don't know what life will be with a little boy in the mix.  I know it'll get crazy and fun and amazing. :)  We did not plan on getting pregnant, we never planned on having a son (not that you can plan these things).  I am so thankful God's in control and plans our lives.  Everyone is so excited for baby brother's arrival and I'm sure when he's here we'll probably wonder how we ever made it without him. :)

Thankful that God loves me enough to not only send me the most amazing husband who loves me so much... But also blesses me with 2 of the most amazing little girls!  So thankful for my family!!!!

Halfway there

This past Saturday was my 20 week mark! I'm halfway through this pregnancy.  Seems weird.  At points it felt slow, but looking at these past 20 weeks, it flew by!  It's definitely bittersweet b/c this is our last one.  But we are all excited and anxious to meet our sweet boy :)

These 20 weeks have had a lot of ups and downs, we've had 2 ER trips in a 6 week span, I've fought the flu, I've been dealing with SPD, restless nights, and so much more... All of which is completely worth it and I'm super thankful baby boy is growing big and strong.  Carrying him is a gift, and I'm so thankful for him! :)

Our sweet gift!  He loves to suck his fingers.  

school

For the past few weeks I've been feeling overwhelmed and discouraged with homeschooling.  I felt like I wasn't doing a good job and that big sis wasn't learning at all.  I felt like a failure and it was very hard to get motivated to do school.  

About 2 weeks ago or so, we had a breakthrough.  It was a Monday and I was determined to make the best of it.  As I was going through her science lesson, I looked at her and though, "well here I go failing again, she's not even paying attention".. Then we went to work on our questions.  She knew all the answers.  She had indeed been listening!  I was so excited and finally felt like she was really learning.  

Well, we went through the flu and didn't do school for about 10 days.  This week we're finally back on track.  We've been struggling with reading, she has no self confidence at all when she starts new things.  But she keeps trying.  Yesterday she read her entire reading lesson on her own.  It was just a paragraph, but I was so proud of her!  And she was so excited.  

Days like yesterday are so encouraging for both of us!  It makes me truly thankful that I'm their teacher and that I get to be there for all the big moments :) 

 I bought some simple leap frog work books from the $1 bin at target.  I thought it'd be some nice extra practice for the girls.  I was only able to find 1 for baby sis, the alphabet.  Big sis got 3 different ones.  yesterday she took initiative and did this word search on her own.  She read all the animals on her own and found them.  This was her first word search and she did it by herself, I only helped her w/ 1 word.  It's really neat and encouraging to see her gaining her confidence with reading. :)

Time flies

I sit here thinking and looking up old pictures of the girls.  The girls are watching tv before bed, and waiting for daddy to come home from work late (I wrote this last night and scheduled for this morning).

As I look through these pictures, the girls joined me for a time.  Seeing pictures of big sis when she was a baby, which I then had to explain why baby sis wasn't there. ;)  Then seeing the 2 of them together from baby sis' newborn pictures to her at 6 months old.  Then I stopped looking for various reasons.

All this reminded me of how precious time is, and how fast it really goes by.  I mean, it was just yesterday that I had big sis.  I was in the hospital, recovering miserably, and experiencing more love than I ever thought possible.  She looked like a beautiful blue eyed angel and it took days for it to sink in that she was really all mine.  I couldn't believe it.  Days turned into weeks, and months, and years.  We blinked and she no longer was an only child.  Now, before I got pregnant w/ #2 and right up to the DAY I had baby sis, I felt guilty.  I felt I couldn't love another daughter liked I loved my first.  Like I was doing my sweet girl a disservice by bringing another child into our home.  I hated having to be away from her while in the hospital.

All that changed the second I had baby sis in my arms.  Oh my word, it's like my heart grew.  I had another daughter.  I felt so blessed I thought I could burst!  2 sweet girls to love, sisters!  I would look at baby sis and tell her I didn't know how our family got along for so long w/out her.  She completed us.  All of us.  For days and weeks we were all falling in love with this black haired little beauty.  It's as if life stopped and we were all just on cloud 9.

I always talked about having 4 girls.  I thought our home would be a blast filled w/ little girls.  After baby sis was born, big sis asked for the same thing, and prayed for it every night; a baby brother.  Her desire for a boy turned into my desire.  Due to the difficult pregnancy w/ #2, the thought of being pregnant again terrified me.  As did the thought of raising 3 kids.  About 6 months ago hubby and I had a very brief talk about when we'd like to plan for #3.  He said early in 2014, I wanted summer of 2014. lol  But that all changed on a Monday in October.  I asked hubby to bring home a pregnancy test b/c "something wasn't right".  It took WEEKS for the shock to wear off.  Excitement quickly set in, especially after we told everyone (we didn't announce it for 3 weeks).  More excitement set in when we found out that 4 of our friends were also expecting babies, all w/in a month from us.  2 of those friends are expecting sweet boys and I look forward to my boy having some best buds!

The day of our sonogram, I was nervous.  I didn't care what the baby was, I would've been equally happy, boy or girl.  But we very much desired a son, which is weird to say b/c in my other pregnancies I did NOT want a boy.  When the tech started the sono, she asked what we wanted, to which we all said boy.  She said that most likely wouldn't happen.  I guess she thought being that we had 2 girls, the odds were against us. lol  We saw the head, the heart, arms, belly and such... She did a quick pass through the body where hubby and I both thought we saw those 3 little lines, you know, the "girl" lines.  I smidge of disappointment set in within me, but then I thought, ok we'll be the family w/ 3 cute sisters.  Cool!  Then she apologized for taking so long (we waited an hour for her to arrive even though we had an appt) and said it was worth the wait.  She paused the sono wand and showed us a clear shot of between his legs and said "do you see that?"  I was in SHOCK.  I must have asked a million times, "are you sure it's a boy" :)

It's been about 2-3 weeks since finding out we're having a boy, and there are days that I am still in awe.  I never thought I'd want a son.  Never thought I'd be excited over a little boy.  And yet here I am, looking forward to baseball caps, bow ties, cars and all things boy.

Tomorrow is our halfway mark, 20 weeks along!  So thankful for this sweet blessing and thankful I get to carry this sweet gift!  We're all very excited to meet this little boy!!!!!

Play with me

Yesterday my daughter spent the better part of the afternoon asking me to play pet shop with her.  I do what I always do, put it off.  I painted her toenails, we watched some tv... Then she asked again.  I have to be honest, usually when she asks me to play w/ her toys, I avoid it.  I hate the pretend play.  I end up convincing her to play a board game or read a book or something.

But yesterday she would have none of it.  Now, at this point I was exhausted.  I told her to let me rest for a few minutes, then we'd play.  And she agreed.  As soon as I woke up from my power nap, she asked to play again.  And then she said something that pierced my heart; "mommy you never play with me".  sigh, it's true.  We do a lot of stuff together, but anytime she asks me to play toys w/ her, I put it off.  Again, I hate playing w/ her toys. lol  I'm just no good at it.  Alas, I wanted to make her happy, so we went to her playroom where we played with pet shops.  It didn't last long b/c daddy got home and then she wanted nothing to do with me.

Those few minutes we played together, it wasn't bad, and we were laughing so hard.  It stayed with me for the rest of the night and when she went to bed, I missed her.  I missed spending time w/ her.

So yesterday I learned, that even though I'm not that great at the pretend play, she still enjoys it, and so do I.  Besides, it gives us time together. :)  I was reminded that I need to stop focusing on laundry, cleaning, facebook, the phone, I need to put all that aside and just play and get silly with my girls.  I get so focused on doing school and house chores, I forget the silly parts.  My new goal is to set some time aside each day to just get down and play toys with the girls.

De-germifying and moving on...

Today I spent the day cleaning the house.  Everything was upside down after all of us being laid out for a week.  It feels nice knowing the germs are leaving my house.  I am relying on hubby to vacuum the house tomorrow, it's just too much for me to do.  But I did do everything else.  Then I required a long nap.  It was pretty hard to get up.  I have to remember that I am limited in what I can and can't do.

This week we also fell yet another week behind w/ school.  I know that this school year is different, being pregnant doesn't help.  We are very behind.  But I have plans on catching up, starting Monday!  Big sis is beyond ready to read, and thankfully she excels in all the other areas and we both enjoy school, for the most part. ;)  I need our school year to end by June 1st, before baby's arrival!  Which if we don't, daddy can finish off as he'll be home for 2 weeks.  I'd just rather be done long before then.  This year is important as we are in Kindergarten.

Anyways, for other news, today someone asked me how far along I was, and I had no answer.  I drew a blank. ha!  I will be 19 weeks weeks tomorrow.  Almost 1/2 way there!!! It's hard to believe.  We are all counting down and excited for little man's arrival.  Oh and little man has a full name now!  Alas, I don't like posting names on the blog.  Though it's not like that many people read it anyways. lol
Baby boy is making his presence knows, from crazy cravings to the sweet kicks!  Love it!!!!

Pretty soon we'll be getting the house ready for his arrival.  But first we are taking the next few days to continue to recover.  Hope you all have been able to keep the flu away!!!

an off week!

Last Wednesday I came down with the flu.  From being completely laid out, fevers, sleeping all day, a trip to the ER, quarantined to my room... I slept for 2.5 days.  Saturday I was a bit better, then had to come downstairs to take over w/ the kids b/c daddy was feeling sick.  He's been sick and laid out since then.

We both tested positive for the flu.  Yesterday the girls were fighting fevers so we took them to the dr.  Baby sis was up to 103.5 temp. :(  Both girls tested negative for flu, but the doctor doesn't believe in coincidences and decided to give them flu meds to prevent them from getting worse.

Today daddy tried to go to work, but came home miserable.  Both girls are laid out, thankfully no fevers, but they are both lethargic and just having an off day.

Praying we can get back to routine tomorrow and that everyone can get to feeling 100% again.

We're having a...

Sorry for the delay in our announcement (though I don't think many people read this blog), but the day we found out the sex of our baby, I came down with a nasty flu.  I've been in bed for the past 3 days.

So can you guess what we're having? :)

We are over the moon excited to add a little boy to our brood!  We took both girls to our sonogram b/c big sis still remembers seeing baby sis in my tummy and was dying to see this one too.  So we all went and the girls are ecstatic about baby brother.  Big sis has already given her brother some of her toys. lol  

School

We took a 2 week break from school, even though I hadn't planned on stopping.  But with daddy home, it's hard to not just want to have fun.  Before the break, we were struggling w/ school.  Mainly b/c of the pregnancy and always being so tired.  I had no motivation.

I've really been feeling discouraged about the whole thing.  I came to the realization on New Years eve, that I am her sole teacher, it is my job to provide her with the best education I can.  Her New Years Resolution was that she'd learn to read.  BROKE my heart!!!!  I'm her teacher!  So I'm getting over myself and pouring everything I can into teaching my girl. I also realized that I cannot do it on my own, but with God, I can teach my children!

So, this week, we are back!  I know it's only been 2 days, but we are doing good.  She's enjoying it and so am I.  I have a wonderful support system of friends.  I have a sweet friend who used to teach Kindergarten and has since moved on to HS.  So she's given me a ton of her old supplies and extra help to work with big sister.  She's offered to come over 1-2 times a week to sit with big sis and help me with her reading.  I mean, how awesome is that!? :)  Her daughter is a year older and was also helping big sis with some of her reading. :)  I have some amazing friends!

I've been praying through all this, asking God to help me stay motivated and to help me as I school my girls.  He is good and faithful to answer!

This girl loves math! lol

 Her latest drawing!  I plan on framing this one.  I love it!

Baby sister LOVES to do school with us.  She has her own workbook that she enjoys. Learning her colors :)

Big sis and I are working on sight words.  My sister found this activity that I loved... 

Exciting week!!!

This week is super exciting for us!  Why?  On Wednesday we have our gender sonogram. :)  Big sister is counting down and super excited.

I sit here, anxious and excited.  We think we have a boy name, but we have zero girl names.  We will work on names once we know what we're having.  The girls have stated their choice; big sister wants the baby to be named Starsong if it's a girl.  Baby sister wants the baby to be named Rainbow Dash. lol

What are my feelings about the baby's gender?  I have gone back and forth on this one.  With the girls, I just knew they were girls.  From day 1 I called them both girls.  This one, I keep thinking it's a "he" but there are moments where I have doubts.  Either way, we are blessed with this little life, and I'll be happy either way.  I'd love a son, but a house full of girls will be super fun :)

For fun I did one of those online gender quizzes.  I did 2 different ones and they both gave me a 53% chance of having a girl.  I then did the Chinese calendar quiz and it predicted a boy.  So we'll know for sure in 2 days :)  I'll be excited to finally know and pick a name for this sweet little one!

17 weeks!

Today our baby is 17 weeks!!!  What a little miracle and I remain honored to carry this sweet blessing!

Our pregnancy was uneventful up till 12 weeks.  These past 5 weeks have been ROUGH!  I have been dealing with symphysis pubis dysfunction (spd) along with cramping and some spotting, on and off.  As long as I take it easy, I'm usually fine.  The problems begin when I start being more active.  I had a REALLY good past 8 days.  Alas, today the problems began again.  It's discouraging and stressful b/c I just want to know that the baby is ok.  And trying to not be active with a toddler and young child is almost impossible.

I am constantly reminding myself that God has given us this sweet gift and I need to have faith that He'll take care of him or her these next 23 weeks!  Which btw, 23 weeks seems long, but not really.  Crazy how fast this is flying by!!!

The pictures above were taken at Christmas at around 15 weeks.  

One way God has provided for us is that most of my maternity clothes (I didn't have many to begin with) had either just been worn out or stained.  I had to start buying a lot of stuff.  A sweet friend gave me some clothes last week!  What a blessing.  I have another friend who will be giving me her clothes soon as well.  It saves us money and for that I'm thankful.  This will be our last pregnancy, so buying new things was kind of pointless.  God really does take care of everything! 

6 day countdown...

Big sister is very anxious (as am I) for next Wednesday.  What happens then?  Our ultrasound.  Big sister is dying to know if we're having a boy or a girl.

Now that the new year has started, we will begin preparations in the house for baby.  We've began reorganizing some things.

A friend passed on a sweet bassinet.  We've never had one before, we've never needed one.  But being that we are in a 2 story house, I figured having a bassinet downstairs would be beneficial.

I put it in the office/soon to be nursery for now.  And that cute bear is a Christmas gift from my sister :)

I can hardly believe we're almost 1/2 way there!  16.5 weeks have flown by!!!  So thankful for the gift of carrying this sweet blessing.